I am Ready

Buddha taught His students that death is not something to be afraid of. Death is the purpose of life instead. That is why life is suffering. Life is uneasy. However happy or sad your life is, actually life is suffer. Because we have to get attached with everything we have in life.

Life is  not easy for me too. And every time I feel happy, I am afraid that the happiness will disappear or go away. I think that is the point of what Buddha would like to say to us. The feeling of don't want to let something go, that is suffering.

I am no more afraid of death.

I hope all the persons I love also have the same understanding as me. So we may grave when we lost our loved ones, but not too long.

Life is uneasy. Death is peaceful. Anytime He thinks that I am done enough to suffer in this world, I am ready to die...

I am  not saying that I would like to commit to suicide, but to be ready anytime I should go off this world.

Sabbe satta bhavantu sukkhitata.

Earth Hour 60+

http://www.earthhour.wwf.or.id/ 

Four Days of Loving and Respecting = Jwalking :)

It has been three months since my precious Jwalkerz experience on 4 - 7 December 2010. This is only a very simple fan account to express how happy I was at that time. I hope it's enjoyable.... :)

******************************************************************************************************

Disclaimer: if you are a Jwalkerz, your fangirling moment might be turned on reading my story. if you are not, you might be feeling like liking him haha

******************************************************************************************************

Saturday, 4 December:

left-right: Dilla, me, Dini, Uthe, Aline

The first time I met some of Indonesia Jwalkerz: Uthe, Dini, Dilla, and Aline at the Extramiles office to collect our tickets.

Sunday, 5 December:
We were going to the airport to welcome Jay, Seth, David, Daniel, Andrew. We met a lot of another Indonesia Jwalkerz down there :)

the banner from JPNet & JayEffectIndo

I met Aline (again) and Tanya, both are JayEffectIndo admins, they were holding a simple welcoming thing for Jay. They brought a very long banner to welcome Jay and the crews, a lot of Jay's face expression were printed on that banner.

a few hand made posters (by Dilla)

All Jwalkerz were gathered, and we agreed to make a simple straight welcome, some of us holding the long banner, the others were holding their own hand made posters. While waiting for Jay to come out, some of Jwalkerz were taking pictures, fan cams, and some of them only by thrilling on their own fangirling moments, lol.

I bet all of Jwalkerz there felt the same way as me, my heart was beating so fast, my hands were so cold, I couldn't make sure what my facial expression was like haha.
And then it was the time when Jay's flight was scheduled to land. We had even more thrilled. I still can remember how our crowds made people around the gate pointed their attention to us, and how we made them all curious: "Who is coming?", "Who you guys are waiting for?" those kind of questions kept coming from people to us and some of media..

We stood at the right gate, but we still had doubt about what if Jay's going to out from the other gate. So, some of us were on detective mode all of sudden and asked the officer if the GA 821 had landed. The officer said, "Yes it has landed.." Jwalkerz even more thrilled than before, moreover when some ordinary passengers passed our line and said, "Oh I saw this guy before.."(pointed their fingers at our banners), "He is there waiting to come out." 
What crazy and made us laughed at ourselves was, every time we recognized some groups who looked like Jay and the crew, we started to shout them names and made them startled. And they went laughing at us for recognizing the wrong persons.

This another silly fail Jwalking moment was where we suddenly screamed over a guy who really looked like Jay, and he passed our line calmly and a bit shy, and I heard he kept saying "sorry guys I'm not him, sorry, sorry....." lol poor him. All I could say at that time was "sorry..." back.. This is a special request from Tanya, to put his picture here too, because we admitted it that he was good looking :p we called him Mizuno Guy since all we identified was he wore a mizuno strap around his neck. We wondered, was he a tennis athlete, or, a mizuno staff? LOL. Forget it, this is only an intermezzo. :b

So when the time Jay finally came out, for a second we went "Is that Jay? Is that really him? Take a look, we don't want to make more embarrassing guess." Haha...
So suddenly, our line was broken, Jwalkerz started to run over Jay, I think it was all because we stood at the wrong side of the gate, most of Jwalkerz became "wild", well I couldn't describe much about this situation, because I wasn't the ones who ran over Jay crazily, the crowd was just too crazy. I chose to directly go to the hotel where Jay was going to stay. Just by the mission to look at him really. Me and Dilla went there. Others went there too, but separately.

We arrived at the Ritz Carlton Jakarta Hotel lobby. We thought Jay might already arrived first, since our car were left behind Jay's car. I asked the hotel officers, they all said that Jay has not arrived at that time. We were wondering why he has not arrived yet, while he supposed to be arrived before us. Anyway, we believed the officers, so we kept waiting for him outside the lobby, because the officer asked us to keep quiet. And we fully understand that we should not make any chaos, first, it was a hotel where people stay and look for composure. Second, because since the very beginning we only wanted to welcome Jay warmly without any "harm" actions lol

So lucky six of us, suddenly a black Fortuner came and stopped in front of the lobby. (The officer once said that the short red carpet was intentionally prepared for welcoming Jay, I wasn't sure he was joking or not haha) And yes, that was exactly Jay's car!!
Since we had to keep quiet, all we did at first was only (a bit) jumping and waving to Jay who was still inside the car. He sat in the middle, once he noticed us, he moved forward and what we saw, he waving back to us and smiling widely. OMG!!!! That was too precious. I couldn't feel my feet at that time, but it wasn't over yet.
Andrew came out first, it was funny how we were trying so hard to shout "welcome to Jakarta/ Indonesia, Andrew.." from distance but also still considering how to not to make noise.
And then Jay came out, we couldn't help but jumping (omg why we always did this --") and waving and calling out his name. (Jwalkerz must already know this, but I just want to say more and more) Jay is really a nice person!! He kept waving back and gave us that killer big grin!! (yes it was not only a smile)
And Daniel also came out after Jay..

In the evening, we came back to the hotel to attend the fan signing event :D before that was the press conference, only medias were allowed to attend, but at the almost end of the press conference, Jwalkerz who were going to attend the fan signing were allowed to come in too :)
After the press conference had ended, we were all excited waiting for Jay to come out. Jay in person was a very shy man, when it was my turn, we greeted "hi", shook hands, and he started to sign the poster for me. I told him "it's Jessica, Jay..." he looked at me and repeated, "your name is Jessica, right?" hahaha, at that time I wasn't sure why he need to ask that because I couldn't even remember to breathe. The fan signing run too fast haha...

cr: Dilla Rakhiemah facebook

And oh! My friend Dilla had a lucky chance to take picture with Daniel just because he spotted Dilla's NickiMinaj-handmade-poster and he liked it! ^^

Monday, 6 December:
Since it was office day and I couldn't get my boss' permission to take one day leave, so I was still doing my works on that day, missed the moments with my Jwalkerz friends. The fan meeting would start at 7PM and 06:30PM I was still stucked inside the cab and the traffic was pretty sucks, because office hours had ended at that hour and also because of the heavy rain :(
Inside the cab I kept worrying and on chatting with my friends who were already there at the venue.
Even though I missed those moment with Jwalkerz waiting the gate to be opened, thank God I didn't miss any of Jay performance :D that was enough for me..
I got the first row seat, that was awesome ^^
Wouldn't describe much about the run of the FM because it was just typically the same as the other of his FMs, even much simpler :)
As maybe you all knew, the platinum row seated got the chance to take picture one on one with our precious man himself, so yeah, I was the one who got that lucky chance. My feeling was so indescribable, and what I like the most was: Jay never forget to say "hello" and "thank you for coming" to each of us. That was simple things that meant everything :)
Jay made me met a lot of Jwalkerz...That was the best day to close the year 2010.


Tuesday, 7 December:
This day was the other fabulous day ever. We gathered at the hotel since 10AM, had no idea when and where Jay would be going to have this charity activity. We did all efforts, I called this as "using all Jwalkerz instincts to smell anything Jayyish" XD
Can't write much about how exactly we did, but some Indonesia Jwalkerz along with KJwalkerz, and um, a ThaiJwalkerz :b , finally knew where to go. Firstly we headed to where they had their lunch, but since we didn't want to interrupt them, we went to the doughnut shop near the lunch venue and fed ourselves with some doughnuts and shakes. lol

Without even waiting for Jay and the crews finished their lunch, we headed to the charity venue: Sanggar Akar Anak (the same with: Children's Roots Studio).

the sexy backs :b

No need to wait too long, they were all arrived, as maybe we all knew already, Jay - Andrew - Daniel were all well interacting with the kids. Some kids were quite good in English tough :D
Jay brought some candies (I think) and gave it to the kids. There were three scenes that caught my attention that I would never forget.
First, when the little boy was able to do this whistling loudly that caught everyone's attentions, includes Jay's-kid-moment attention. Jay asked him to do it again and again so that Jay would know how to do the same thing. Jay tried, failed, and finally gave up. (I hope I can find a fan cam recording this moment though)

Andrew waving to the shy lil girl

The second scene was when I caught Andrew and Daniel were interested in this one shy little girl wearing glasses sitting in front of them. Andrew kept asking the little girl to pose while he was holding his blackberry towards her. But the little girl kept refusing. Even a wave and cute smile from Andrew didn't change the shy girl. Too cute.

The last one was when another girl asked Daniel and Andrew to take picture together from the girl's phone. Daniel was asking: "Oh you want to take picture with us?" The girl straightly answered: "No, I just want to take the picture of you both"
Hearing that short conversation, I was telling myself, "If I was that girl, I would definitely say YES PLEASE." Am I right, Jwalkerz? lol

The last thing was back at the hotel, me, Dilla, Tanya, and Aline were chewing the fat about the past precious three days for us Jwalkerz, we couldn't just stop! 'til we got alarmed by the appearance of Seth and some of the crews. Then we knew that they were all having their dinner near the coffee shop inside the hotel where we were. Yes ALL, include Jay ^^
that was the last time we saw them, and we got a chance to thank Seth for all of the very helpful things he had done for Jwalkerz.


I love my Jwalkerz friends, I love JayEffectIndo, cause I know exactly the reasons I love them :)
and of course I love Jay Park! ^^

xoxo,
Jessica
*more blurry pictures on my facebook page hahaha http://facebook.com/jesslejuillet

[pour moi] la famille (encore) la première

21 December 2010


This topic originated from what was happening on my last night's dream. I don't know why I feel like it is linked to the topic, but I just feel it..

So in my dream, I was joining a treasures hunt game. There were a lot of animals sh*t in the journey (ew I know). That was an individual player game. And it happened that I finally won because the last hint directed me to something so Jayyish. LOL. I guess this was because I talked about Jay (yes that boy Jay Park) with my non-Jwalkerz friend before I went to sleep last night.

Oh, I think I know why this is directing me to the above topic, let's moving step by step.

That dream made me woke up at 4 in the morning [that was so early for me], and all of my body felt like an accident, I called this Inception haha

I realized that I've been forcing my body too hard lately, I've been doing a lot of jobs (when I said a lot, it was really meant "a lot"; different jobs outside my full-time job in office), also been up for every invitation for some event invitation and friends' meeting. Doesn't mean I am greedy, it is just because I am someone who like dynamic life. While office is a boring (be positive here) routine activity of mine.

I am someone who easily get bored, so I need to do a lot more activities that I have interests in.

I used to be careless to my health since I am not easily getting sick type of person, but once I get sick, it hits me hardly. This time I got a lot of symptoms; dizzy, feels like fainting, diarrhea (I couldn't get back to sleep because I keep going to toilet), also stomachache.

I thought it was just a matter of too tired, not eat regularly, and the weather condition. In the morning it wasn't getting better so I took sick leave from office. (p.s. my boss still bbm me..)

Days gone by, and I was still felt so sick. I was afraid something bad happened. My mom had been acknowledged and I knew that she would be so worried, like terribly worried.

She was planning to visit me in Jakarta (she lives with my granny and my little sister in a small town), but because of my sickness, we were deciding to cancel it. Because there was no use they come here if I couldn't take them anywhere they wanted.

But, whose mom won't feel worry if her daughter is sick and alone and no one takes care of her?

Of course at the end my mom decided to still go to visit me here even only to take an extra care for me.

First doctor didn't work out. Overall she did was scaring us with the diagnose that I "might" be having blind gut and need surgery :/

After seeing the second and (thank goodness) the last doctor, she diagnosed it right only by short consultation session and examined my stomach in only a few seconds!

The doctor said "Are you stressful? Got a lot to think about?" (dang! haha)

She said that I got to think a lot of things in mind and not get over them easily, this could stimulate the gastric acid. Moreover, I have a history with my ulcer. So all of these symptoms were because of a gastric infection.

All I gotta do was consuming the medicines that she gave me the receipt and not to consume "chili", milk, ummm, that's all I can remember haha...

package from Realfanssa

And before I forget, during this weak moment, I was still organizing Jay's goodies order from some IndonJwalkerz to Realfanssa KJwalkerz. Jay always makes me good, even in my real sickness haha that was weird feeling though.
A person was screwing up, but thank goodness all done well til the very end. Obstacles, I take those as a good learning point to step forward.

package that I bought from WayToJay

precious gifts from Inji ^^

Mom is everything. And every time I get sick, she is turning herself into a warmer embrace and a professional nurse!! Even she still feels and shows how frustrated she is every time I am not getting well so soon.

Every time I get sick, I'm always longing for mom's smell and touch even more. Because I know, she is the healer.

However, this is only one in a million indescribable reasons that, 

pour moi la famille encore la première....

xo, Jess

I can see your passion, Pasian...