Have you ever feel............?

Have you ever feel, like everything you did was not good enough and you always want to make it better and better?

not only for yourself, but also for everyone around you...

Have you ever feel, all that you did was trying hard to do something closely to its perfectness?

til you never realized that you were doing great until someone told you so...

Have you ever feel, like you gave them a big grin to show them that you are thankful for what they said, without sounding arrogant?

Have you ever feel, that you are thankful because some other people around you saying "You are really inspiring me.."

and you would response, "Wow thank you, I've never thought that I could be useful for anybody before. But if so, that's great. I'm happy to hear that I can be a good motivator for others..."

Then all you feel were so great...so positive.

You have a great relationship with almost everyone around you....

They got you no wrong.

But....

then...THAT moment should come into you..

The moment when you are standing in a wrong boat, accidentally..

The moment when you could not fight for yourself, because people will think you are just looking for some other to be blamed when you do that..

The moment when you should feel "This is plainly UNFAIR."

"This should not be happened to me, I'm always doing good, why?"

But you were not even did that cause you were too afraid to get bad karma cause of complaining.

The moment when you should get emotional and take revenge to everyone who took part in getting you down, but you did not do that, not even an emotion..

The moment when you felt, everything is moving forward faster; too fast, not even you're ready.

When your world all sudden turned the opposite way it should..

When everyone judged you, all pointed at you as the criminal; with no dignity..

When they interrogated you, pushing you to admit that you are all wrong while they are the goddess..

When you wanted so bad these all to be over soon, like in one click.

When you should tell how bitch they are, but you were trying so hard to lock those words coming out..

When you felt like you did not have your chin up anymore.. you ashamed to the people who proud of you, cause this NEW 'LABEL' became worst.

You feel like made them disappointed..

But at the same time, you felt thankful cause they still support you no matter what had just happened.

And said that, "This is not your fault. It's theirs. They're just too pussy to admit that. While you're the brave one to accept what they did to you.."

And for those words, you felt warm, but also cold.

Warm because you know they still trust you as what you were before it happened..
Cold because you feel like blaming yourself for what happened, you made them in trouble, but they still didn't change the way they think about you..

But then you realized,

all of these patience are worth it. priceless.

Now you can say it out loud, that you believe God never leave the weakness..

as long as you keep in faith, keep trying, never stop encouraging yourself, and never complaining..

and personally in myself, as long as you believe that Karma really REALLY exists...

Even you got the bonus!

A plan that just came up in your mind from nowhere, and you just called it as "a sweet revenge" ;)

while I personally called it as their-ass-bad-karma-for-making-me-into-this 

Those things happened in the right times (at the end)

You just learned that you got the brightest new beginning of your page of life..

Love,

Jess