I am afraid...

If someone said: "choose the work you like then you will never feel like working each and every day in your life, cos you do what you like.."

For me, the truth is: "choose the work you like then you will never feel like working each and every day in you life, cos you would never get that kind of works..."

silly though, but for me, THAT IS.

Most of the jobs that I like are the jobs that need expensive educational background first before I entitled to enroll it.
Or, most of the jobs that I like, are the jobs that could not give me such an enough skrilla that I need.

I live my OWN life. When I say it, it means really own it.
I am responsible of my own life (life means all the living who needs cost in this cursed-town called Jakarta)

More than that, I am also responsible for other people lifes (here means my sister, and maybe my mother, and all of my relatives)
They are hoping too much from me.
That makes me having such a heavy responsibility.

The thing is not that I don't want to.
But I'm too afraid that I could not achieve it.

I have no self-confidence that I'm gonna be someone who could earn "happiness" for them.
For the people I love..

I am afraid...



Jess.